Monday, September 26, 2011

Newborn photos

I could seriously go on for days about how amazing Kathleen is as a mom, friend, person and photographer but you all already know that! She outdid herself again with little mans newborn photos, I wish I could post them all but Blogger wont allow it. Here are several of our faves, (really, they are ALL our favorites) out of all 200+ photos there isn't one that we don't like. AMAZING! Marcus was only 8 days old when they were shot, its crazy that he is already a month old.




Enjoy!







Love,




Chris and Katie






Friday, September 23, 2011

Our birth story pt2



It was about 4:30 am and we were being wheeled from the OR recovery room to our hospital room, where we would remain for the next several days. The moment we were wheeled out into the hospital hallway a nursery rhyme chimed on overhead, it was to announce our little mans arrival into the world. We must have been congratulated by half a dozen nurses, I just held my baby boy close to me and proudly said “thank you“. I’m pretty sure the tears STILL hadn’t stopped since I had been told 5 hours prior that I was going in for an emergency c-section. Once we got to our room and the nurses left, Chris and I just had to sit there and reflect on the madness that had just happened in the last 48 hours. Yes, 48 hours! It was approaching 5 am, and it was 10 minutes to five on the 22nd that I started in active labor. We just sat there in shock for several minutes before the words were able to leave our lips. I hadn’t slept in two days and yet I wasn’t tired, by this time adrenaline had taken over and I was on cloud 9!

Day one was crazy! Visitors, lots of diaper changes and lots of pain as far as my incision goes ( I didn’t even get out of bed until day 2). Nursing was rough, because Marcus was born via c-section he wasn’t squeezed through my pelvis so this meant he had lots of extra fluid in his lungs. Babies are nose breathers and the poor little guy wasn’t able to breath because his nose was so stuffed up from the fluid, every time we got him on my breast his nose would gurgle, snot would be everywhere and he would cry. After we brought this issue to the nurses attention they would come in every two hours to put saline drops in his nose, this helped to open his nasal passages. Chris and I also noticed that he was vomiting after every feeding ( I of course assume he hates my milk or is allergic to it), we then brought this issue to our nurses attention as well. This next part was extremely hard on me, baby boy had amniotic fluid is his belly, this was causing all the vomiting and causing him not to nurse for long because he already felt full. A nurse (a not so friendly nurse to be honest) from the nursery came to get Marcus and said she would be pumping his stomach. I asked if Chris could go along and she tried to tell us no, I of course was not okay with this answer so I then informed her that yes, my husband would be going anywhere my son goes. As it turns out Chris had to stand outside the procedure room but he was able to see what was going on. Marcus had 10cc’s of amniotic fluid pumped from his tiny belly, keep in mind that babies stomachs are the size of a marble the first few days of life. My little guy came back to me crying big crocodile tears, my heart broke for him. After all the saline solution drops and the pumping of the stomach we thought all issues had been addressed and finally our little man can nurse problem free, right?!?! WRONG! As a defense mechanism from getting his tummy pumped little one was using his tongue to attempt to block anything from going to the back of his throat (since the tube was stuck down his throat), this made nursing even more difficult. A lactation specialist was called to our room so she could work with him, this involved her fingers in his mouth and massaging of his tongue. Finally, at last, whatever she did worked! Yay, right?!?! WRONG again! By this time Marcus had gone from 8.3 to 7.6, we were informed we would have to stay yet another day and that we needed to get his weight back up so he could be circumcised and so we could go home. Chris and I spent our last day in the hospital trying to beef up our baby boy, I would nurse him for 15 minutes on each breast, pump and syringe feed what I had pumped and then we would syringe feed some similac formula just to make sure he was filling his belly full, we would repeat this routine every 2 hours around the clock! All this work paid off, Marcus got up to 7.9 from 7.6 in one day. Saturday August 27th Marcus was circumcised, we started our discharge process and by 2pm we were in the car, as a family and on our way home!









Leaving the hospital





Love,


Chris and Katie

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Closure

Its one day shy of Marcus being one month old and its also the day I finally was able to bring myself to look at my c-section scar. I guess I had this if I ignore it maybe it will go away attitude. Up until now washing it in the shower was enough to bring me to tears, it was a constant reminder of what went down to get our precious baby here. My husband has been my rock for the last 5.5 years and even more so this past month. I know he worried about me because emotionally I was having a really difficult time accepting that I didn’t have the birth experience I wanted for Marcus and I. Chris has done so much for us these last few weeks including keeping an eye on my incision for me. I know thousands of woman have c-sections daily with no issues but I’m not one of them. My struggles with the cesarean are all emotional/mental, the physical aspect of it was a piece of cake! I feel like I’ve been robbed, robbed of the natural vaginal delivery. I almost feel like I didn’t even give birth, like I look at Marcus sometimes and wonder why he is out here with us and not still in my uterus. I feel like I missed out on so much with him being cut out of me. I’m honestly doing 100% better, I’ve gotten over the majority of these feelings I just had a hard time opening up and letting people know how I was feeling. Posting our birth story yesterday and finally looking at my scar for the first time today has been closure for me, hopefully now I can move on and start looking at all of this in a positive light.





Love,


Chris and Katie

Monday, September 19, 2011

Our birth story


On Thursday August 18th (41 weeks pregnant) I went to my last OB appointment and my 2nd to the last stress test, it was then that our little man was served with an eviction notice for Tuesday August 23rd. I was disappointed to hear that I was being scheduled for an induction but I knew it was coming so I had tried to prepare myself for the news as best as I could.

Monday August 22nd (the day before induction) I woke up at 4:50 am with terrible period like cramps and awful back pain. I got up to stretch and use the restroom, it was at that point I had my “bloody show”. I freaked out, I knew this happens before labor comes on but seeing blood in the toilet freaked me out so I rushed to our bedroom to wake Chris and tell him what was going on. The cramps/back pain came and went every 30-45 minutes, by 10 am I was walking into Kaiser for my last stress test and by this time contractions were every 20-25 minutes apart. During my thirty minute stress test I had two decent contraction register on the monitor (Yay, exciting!), my OB went over my readings and told us to go home to labor and come into the hospital soon as the contractions were 3-5 minutes apart, my water broke or 6:15 am the following morning for my scheduled induction. After my appointment Chris and I picked up some lunch and came home. As the afternoon progressed so did my contractions, I laid down to nap on two separate occasions and both times I was awoken by strong contractions. Chris and I were on cloud 9, we were sure that my body was finally working with us and that an induction wasn’t going to be necessary after all. The night progressed and so did my contractions, I didn’t sleep a wink that night. Unfortunately my contractions never got to the point of 3-5 minutes apart and clearly my water never broke, but I was in active labor and knew my baby boy was on his way!

Tuesdays August 23rd (the day of induction) I wasn’t able to sleep the night before our scheduled induction, I was so uncomfortable. The back pain was the worse and the contractions kept coming, but by this time they were 8-10 minutes apart. I woke Chris up at 4:30 am so he could shower and load the car up, we decided to leave early since I had been in active labor for nearly 20 hours. As we left our house I took one last look around, one last look of a child-free home. The drive to the hospital was so surreal, between contractions all we could talk about was how excited we were to meet our son and how the next time we were in the car our little man would be with us too! Once we arrived to the hospital they took us back to admitting, this tiny office with ZERO air circulation, doesn’t mesh well with a women who is 41 wks pregnant and in labor. Once we were officially checked into the hospital our nurse (Audrey) greeted us and took us back to our labor/delivery room. Our nurse spent the next 20 minutes going over what our day would consist of and how different things would play out. Everything started feeling so real once I put my hospital gown on. After an hour or so the OB on shift came in to introduce himself and get the ball rolling. The OB was a funny guy, he lightened the mood when he wrote up on our white board that our patient goal was “Marcus”, he then explained to us that the plan was to continue on with an induction just to speed my already active labor up. Unfortunately even after 20 hrs of active labor I was only 90% effaced and dilated to 1cm, during my exam he asked if I wanted to go from a 1cm dilation to 2-3 in 30 seconds. HOLY COW, I was not ready for the pain that was going to come with being stretched but that procedure was successful and I went from 1-3cm dilated. I really felt after this point we were hitting the ground running and our baby boy would arrive that evening, little did I know what was in store for us.

The first few hours at the hospital were pretty laid back, I was on pitocin, the nurses were pretty much leaving us alone because at this point I wasn’t needing much attention the drugs just needed to their job. Shortly after 9 my OB, Kim Kopecky (LOVE her!) came in to see us, she gave me a high five and said “Girl, I’ve been trying to get into that cervix for weeks now!”., “Right, isn’t that the truth” was my reply. Dr. K just assured me all was going well and we were going to do everything necessary to deliver a healthy baby and avoid the OR. The afternoon was pretty uneventful, Chris went to get something to eat and return home to feed out cats and grab a few things. While Chris was out my dad stayed with me, I really enjoyed this time with him we spent that hour reminiscing about my childhood and how excited we were for Marcus and his childhood. Eventually my in-laws arrived to the hospital as well, we were all anticipating his arrival!

After several hours and sadly very little progress I was starting to get very uncomfortable but decided to keep pushing on. Dr. K at this point figured breaking my water was the next step in the right direction, after a quick procedure (with what looks like a crochet needle) water was broken! This next hour was awful, the contractions were getting stronger, coming quicker and lasting longer it was as if I wasn’t getting a break at all. I had enough at this point, I was looking at 30 hours of labor in the face with zero sleep in those 30 hours and I just needed some relief and some rest. I hit that wall and asked for an epidural. I was in luck, the anesthesiologist was available and on her way! Desiree was her name, and she was awesome! During the preparation for my epidural our L/D nurse removed the fetal heart rate monitors not realizing how long it was going to take to prep and administer the epidural. Our L/D at this time was sweet but VERY high stress, she told us that she was very uncomfortable with the amount of time that had passed with him not being monitored so as I’m receiving my epidural she decided she needs to get the monitor hooked backed up. I thank her for having my son health/best interest in mind but she was worrying us all. The anesthesiologist has me leaning forward with my back arched and is telling me to remain completely still while our L/D nurse is in front of me telling me to lean back so she can find his heart rate, these two women were not at all on the same page and our L/D nurse is starting to freak out and is calling for an emergency ultrasound because she is unable to locate a heartbeat. This was our first scare of the day! We ended up having to put my epidural on hold so the nurses could put a internal monitor in so that we wouldn’t have to worry about not being able to find his heart rate again, once the monitor was in the anesthesiologist (My new BFF) was able to get back to work on my epidural.

Once I had my epidural I felt fabulous, little did I know I would only feel like this for a very short time. After about two hours with my epidural it completely failed! I had a team of nurses, an OB and a different anesthesiologist at my bedside trying to figure out what went wrong and if it truly had failed. I couldn’t paint the picture more clearly for them, I was feeling EVERYTHING! Within in hour I went from very uncomfortable to a train wreck, I had my dad on one side of me and Chris on the other. My body was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn’t even open my eyes, the pressure in my pelvis was unreal, I had the urge to push yet I was only 4cm dilated at this time, my so called “contraction(s) felt like one never ending contraction. This was the first time the “C” word (c-section) was mentioned, I remember feeling completely out of it and when I heard that word I snapped out of it and started freaking out, crying, saying No…no, asking a million questions and trying to get Chris to tell them no way was I having a c-section. The nurses talked to us, more less talked to Chris about a few options and we decided to try a different pain relieving drug that went through my IV. Finally! I had some relief, we decided to send our family home so I could try and rest since we knew we still had a long road and 6cm to go before he would arrive. About an hour after we sent our family home we had a nurse come running into our room telling me to get on my left side because the babies heart rate was dropping. Unfortunately by this time I was back to feeling everything and being on my left side was causing so much more discomfort but I knew I had to be on my side to help him, so it made it a little more easier to swallow. It wasn’t to much longer after this that a new OB came in and gave us the news. His heart rate was continuing to drop (they believe the pitocin is causing him stress) and that an emergency c-section was necessary. I’ve never felt so completely defeated in my life, I was looking at 37 hours of labor at this point , I was tired, drained and was just given the worse news imaginable as far at this birth experience goes. Of course I knew it needed to be done, my baby boy was stressing and he needed to come out NOW. The next 30 minutes were such a blur, I was being prepped for surgery, Chris and I are being filled in on what is going to happen, I signed the papers and was wheeled off to the OR. I cried start to finish, this was not at all what I wanted. I didn’t want my son cut out of me and whisked away, I wanted to push him out, have him put up on my belly and watch my husband cut his cord.

Once in the OR the process moved rapidly, they had to pull out my epidural and do a spinal block, I’ve never felt so disconnected from my body before! The spinal block made everything from my chest down completely numb and super warm. I was curious as to why they strapped me down to bed, and figured out why towards the end of my surgery my entire body just started shaking and my teeth were chattering it was so bizarre! After 20 minutes or so in the OR I finally see Chris come through the doors, I’ve never been SO happy to see him (my did he look super handsome in his “blue suit”) he sat next to me and started to wipe the tears from my eyes and said anything and everything to try and calm me down. I remember the OR anesthesiologist asking Chris if he wanted to watch them pull Marcus out of me, he very anxiously said “Oh, yes!” and at last within 5 minutes and TONS of pressure Chris was told to stand up and look over the drape. August 24th, 2011 at 1:08 am Marcus Alexander Hampton entered the world at 8lbs 3oz and 21inches long. Chris wasn’t saying anything and it had me worried, he asked me if it was okay to step away and go see our son I of course crying said “go, go!”. I wont find out until the day after when Chris tells me that Marcus came out blue and he wasn’t breathing. So here is what happened, little mans cord was wrapped around his neck twice and with every contraction the cord would squeeze a little tighter, since I was on the pitocin the contractions came so often that he was under stress. No one knew his cord was wrapped around his neck so I thank God for looking after us that day, our son could have been ripped away from us so quickly. Marcus and Chris left the OR to the recovery room where they waited for my surgery to wrap up. Once I arrived to the recovery room from the OR I was still pretty out of it and still trying to grasp everything that had just happened. I’ll never forget the moment I held my beautiful baby for the first time, he was so precious! He truly is a blessing and I’m forever grateful to have him. Those first few minutes that I held him I felt like the world around me had froze in time, it was so magical. While I being checked out and cleaned up from surgery a nurse stopped by our recovery room and told us our dad was in the waiting room and asking about us. My dad is amazing, when we got the word that I was going in for a c-section I told Chris that we should call our family and let them know, it wasn't until after I was wheeled off to the OR that Chris did so. I wish I was able to hear their conversation, although its not difficult to picture. Chris said the moment he told my dad I was going in for surgery my dad replied with "I'm on my way". Shortly after 2:30 that morning my dad was able to come back into recovery and meet his grandson, its a moment he or I will never forget.



















Love,






Chris and Katie

Coming soon...

New posts coming soon...



*Birth story (hopefully)




*Newborn photos




*Marcus 2 week appointment




*First bath




I'm trying to keep them in order but I'm still having issues composing my birth story, I know ultimately what matters most is our little guy is here and healthy but I still feel like I'm allowed to grieve, I just didn't want the birth experience we had for us.




Also, I'm sure you noticed the blog makeover! Fall is our most favorite season, I can't wait to build tons of fun fall memories with our son.



Love,

Chris and Katie

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Incredible…





......that’s the word that comes to mind when I think of my son. Marcus Alexander Hampton arrived via emergency c-section on August 24th at 1:08 am weighing in at 8lbs. 3oz and 21 inches long. I promise a birth story is to follow. I must be honest, I have tried to compose our birth story on several occasions but ended up needing to step away. The beautiful experience we were looking forward to was filled with panic and fear. 38 hours of labor, failed epidural, lost his heart rate several occasions that resulted in the nurses putting an internal monitor in, my cervix not progressing past 4cm, little mans heart rate dropping, double nuchal cord (umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice), lastly the one thing I didn’t want for us a c-section.

I thank God for this beautiful blessing he has given us, I feel so blessed to not only be a mom but his mom. My son is amazing, he is my life!

Love,
Chris and Katie