You know you’re a mom when…..

(& yes, these have all happened to me.)

　

At the end of the day when you undress for the shower you find a “gerber puff” in your bra.

You go hours with spit up on the shoulder of your shirt before someone points it out to you. You only know its hours old because its now dried and crusty.

You attempt to be intimate with your husband and rollover onto a pacifier in bed.

You have been spit, peed, puked, pooped, snotted, sneezed and drooled on.

Your scooping poop out of the bathtub

Your smelling your childs butt to check to see if they have pooped or not.

You’ve had to stick your finger down your child’s throat to dislodge something that he was choking on.

You eat your meals in 5 minutes flat, if you even eat at all.

You literally have $20 in your account until pay day and you spend it on formula.

You have to wash your hair under the faucet while laying in the tub, if you even try to close the shower curtain he will scream his head off until you open it.

You might as well use spit to style your hair because come the days end your hair has been marinated in it.

Your washing the dishes and singing “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands”.

When you cant find your super awesome lip gloss you grab the babies Vaseline out of the diaper bag and use it.

Flats are your new best friend!

You’re handbags have a layer of dust on them in the closet since your handbag is now the diaper bag.

You sing the ABC’s over and over again because he likes it and its distract him.

You have to push the shopping cart dead smack down the middle of aisle otherwise he grabs stuff off the shelves.

The number of loads of laundry you now do has tripled.

The baby has been a sleep for an hour and yet you’re still watching “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse”.

Whenever you want to change the channel you have to turn the house upside down to find the remote first.

When you get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom you trip over a teether.

You’re having to clean up cat puke everyday because the baby keeps feeding the cats his food.

You are out at a restaurant and your baby grabs your drink which spills in your lap.

When your half asleep you try to fill the coffee filter with formula, not coffee grounds.

Your cell phone is full of hundreds of photos of him.

You go to say something to your husband and you accidentally address him as “boo boo, bubbas or bugers”.

Its considered sleeping in when he sleeps until 7am.

You have to completely undress for HIS bath because you will be soaked once its done.

Your car in now sprinkled with goldfish crackers and puffs.

On the rare occasion that you do actually use a purse you go to grab for your keys and instead pull out yours sons play keys. Don’t think those will get us very far!

You go shopping for yourself and instead come home with several items for him.

And..

　

You have baby apps downloaded on your iphone.

Honestly this list could go on forever. These are just a few examples why I love motherhood so much. I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for my son or these experiences. I love you Marcus man!


Love,
Katie